for the last five years, i've been struggling to gain weight.

five years ago, i was always marginalised for being too small and skinny. noone ever took me seriously. when i was joining university, everyone thought i was in S.3 or something like that. when i was in a group, people never distributed 'serious' tasks to me because i looked too young, even when i knew i was capable. i was determined to gain a few pounds so that i could look like a real African woman.

after all the fattening diets and prayers, i've finally gained about five kilos and i'm loving my weight, but now, everyone is telling me how guys don't want to marry big ladies. actually, the same guys who thought i looked too young and small to be married to anyone are now telling me i shouldn't gain any more weight and that i should even lose some because 'what will happen when i give birth' and well, it's just generally nicer to have a small woman. when did this happen? i've just spent the last five years trying to conform to one trend only to be blown in the face being told it's now the wrong trend. when did Africans start accepting, appreciating and almost start worshipping small women like us? what happened to things like 'african men like big women'. and even apart from the men factor, the big women who used to look down on me with contempt are now fighting to be my size. is there anything in the Bible about small being better than big, (or big being better than small), or has the media gotten to us?

Ladies, i will paraphrase what Solomon said in Ecclesiastes in a few words; - don't rely on these trends!! they are all nothing! this 'skinny is better' trend will pass away as effectively as the 'bigger is better' trend did, and then you'll all be fighting to be i don't know what next. what matters is that you are able to understand what the Lord requires of you, and that you can then obey Him and live for Him. Love yourself the way you are so that you can be able to love others, and be what God wants you to be despite what the trends demand of you. If God wants you to be bigger or smaller, it can be done, but as long as you are fit and healthy, don't go to extremes to be something you are not! it's so not worth it.