Monday, October 13, 2008

dear God,

forgive me. forget what i said last week. i have totally changed my mind. i don't need You to come to me physically (as if my physical body could withstand the glory). i see You every morning. well, most mornings, when i wake up to worship You and listen to You and speak to You. there is something about the spiritual that is much broader and more infinite than the physical. physically, i may not have something i need, but through faith, that thing is already mine. physically, i may not see You, but when i close my eyes to worship You, i feel You. and You are more real than any physical touch i've known. when i cry out to You, i hear You hearing me. and You are so near. You are closer to me than the chair accross the room; closer to me than the sheets in my bed; closer to me than the clothes on my body; closer than the hair on my head; closer than the blood running through my veins and arteries; closer than the emotions that worshipping You brings. You are so close that You are in my heart. in my mind even. You are in my soul. You are so close that You are even in my spirit. nothing physical could ever get that close. it is amazing. You know me. You know me more than i do. You know how my DNA is wrapped up in my body cells. i've never even seen my own DNA. You know what thought i'm going to think next. i know my thoughts when i think them, but i don't know what i'm going to think in the next five minutes! and You do. God, You are so big, i can't beleive i wanted to see You. physically, that is. because if i saw You physically, i would see so little. i love my morning devotions. because in that time, i can repent. and i can determine to change my lifestyle. and with each change every day i can become purer and holier, even by faith in Your saving work in me. and it is true that the pure in heart are blessed, for they will see You (mathew 5). God, i don't have to see You sitting in the chair opposite me, because i can see You much more clearly everyday, in my spirit, as we commune, as i pray. You are more infinite than anything my physical eyes will ever see. i guess i'll never see You in Your totality, but what i see of You is already even too great for me. i said what i said last week because i had spent a long time without listening to and talking to You. but You still answered my last week's query and now i can see that i do see You. my friends Francis and Joshua quote how it is written that Enoch walked with God until he was no more. Joshua said it's because as Enoch kept walking closer and closer to You, the physical laws of nature could not hold his physical body in that communion, and soon he became no more, like walking into You or something. i think there's a point somewhere in that explanation. but it doesn't matter, because either way, i think seeing You in my Spirit is better;- closer than seeing You in the chair opposite me. thank You for always being with me. thank You for loving me God.

2 Comments:

At 6:45 PM, Anonymous ~ScotchBiscuits~ said...

You know, i dont think God minds at all coming over for the fore mentioned cup of tea. It is perfectly understandable to long for the physical presence of those whom we love...don't you think?
I am sure that if He agrees to show up, it will not be in any way too alarming for you...He has no interest in scaring you to death.
Then again, I am hardly a realist.
You know you are not a realist I guess when tea with Jesus seems like a perfectly okay thing to want to do.
I can't imagine how many hours we would spend talking about this if we could.
I miss you everyday...

 
At 2:12 AM, Anonymous crys said...

just thought about again. i guess i'm hardly a realist too!

 

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