i guess i should say something too.

everyone is paying tribute to the friends we lost. i'm the only one acting like miss stoneheart. at least as far as blogging is concerned.

i've lost relatives, and friends of relatives, but i have never been more aware of loss through death than this. neither have i seen a bigger group all at once so deeply affected.

eddie was my friend. a close friend. the kind u sit and share your your problems and joys with. the last time we really talked, we were doing just that. he had a lot more to tell me, but time is never enough sometimes. literally. or maybe we just dont use it well. we kept setting and postponing dates for us to sit and talk again 'like good old times', but it was mostly me who was always too busy. does that sound like a familiar routine to anybody? we next met at the funeral service of brenda's dad. the last thing he said to me before we parted was, "eh! ...we still have a lot to talk about..." and the last thing i said was, ''i know! we'll talk when u get back." i think u can tell the rest of the story.

brenda is my OG from secondary school. we were in the same school for the full six years and i did not know that her home is a five minutes walk from mine. does that sound somewhat like u? (of course if u dont know your neighbours, u wouldnt know if u ever went to school with them). it was after i'd spent the whole day running around town trying and failing and trying again to hook up with other OG's and friends who i could go with to her home for the vigil, that i remembered meeting her in the area once or twice before. we would say hi and talk about school and promise to visit sometime and then move on with our lives. well, now i got to visit.

at brenda's dad's funeral service, i met a lot of my old school friends. i've been in the same university as most but it was agnes who had the courage to say it first; "crystal, howcome we only meet at funerals?" what was i supposed to say, that that's when we remember to comfort our OG's and act like the friends we haven't been the past three years at campus? note that most of us are done with campus. i hope we keep our promises of visitting those doing 4 and 5 year courses.

hellen is one of my best friends ever. abraham was one of her close friends who i always promised to meet. when he didnt make it out of the comma, i couldnt even make it to the service. i mean, i had just found out that eddie's brother had died a month before, and he was related to regina (also myOG) whose child is now orphaned.

in general, i could pass as a people person. the kind who likes her neighbourhood because of the friends and and potential friends and friendly people around. the kind who likes to share people's joys and sorrows. the kind who will most likely knock at your door and say hi first if i know i'm going to be living in the same hostel as you the whole semester. the kind who ever dreamt of doing being a world-class humanitarian, psychologist, human resource manager, doctor, and anything that seemed like it could make the world (or just that society) a better place for people. but even pursuing this anything can make one forget the most important thing;- people. u know, the homies, OG's, family, old friends, workmates, people with whom u have a relationship to protect and enjoy.

ashy liked to tell me that it's knowing the truth that sets u free. in ecclesiastes, king solomon, after taking time to explain in detail how everything is nothing, concludes by saying that all that matters is that we obey all the commands of the Lord. in Paul's words (in ephesians), it's more like i should live a life(style) worthy of my salvation. i guess they have a point. i mean, it's the Lord i'm going to meet, and my homies too, when we get there, so when Jesus to tells me to love God with all my heart and love ya'll as much as i luv myself, i'll take it seriously. and everything else that comes with those commands. you're all i'll have in the end. unless atheism ever miraculously starts to make sense. ok, so, patricia and sandra, i'm giving myself deadlines with that ice cream i promised. rukie, i'm taking u for ice cream too. hellen, i still would have come to visit u at campus during the coming lonely 4th year days of yours, even this hadnt happened to me. and hanny, if u hadnt fallen in love, i would have started demanding ice cream again. u get the point. my family, well, we have enough graduations and weddings to say what we want to say. so stick around 'till my grad. waterloo family, it's about time we set a date for the get-together. PDL family, u guys made my day on 12th august! and bloggers, no more three-month breaks. or is it four? and ritah, i'm quite proud of us.

knowing the truth sets u free. i'm not afraid of death anymore (putting aside the various means of death). i think it's more scary to live a life(style) that would leave u scared of your death. let's pull up our socks guys and get a life!(that used to be karru's favourite slogan).

great i've done another long post.