while in the stomach of the whale...

dear God,

You had to do it the hard way. again.

everytime i think i've surrendered my all to U, something else always comes up.

writing has always been something i considered my own. i mean, of course i know everything i own is Yours, but if there was nothing i could do, at least i could write. i had it all figured out. the things i would write about, the publishers that would print my work, the editors, the writer-development programmes and organisations, after all, You gave me the interest, the resources, the connections, the ability, ... but it's not all about me. i even created my own blogspot, but u kept casting me into these dry spells... everything just didn't seem right. it was hard to write what i wanted to. so now i'm going to take my time. not mine actually, but Yours. maybe if i do things Your way, there will be more meaning. i don't want to be like jonah in the Bible again, and again, and again. i want to develop the habit of hearing from You and receiving direction from You in EVERYTHING. i want to have the habit of being submissive to You, not the habit of being swallowed by the whale every time i don't budge into Your will. i'll admit it's going to be really hard, coz though You are supreme, i still tend to beleive i've got few good ideas myself. i guess that's why it's important to trust. i have to trust that my life, my thoughts, ambitions and plans are actually in Your hands. maybe if i chill out for a while in Your hands, i won't have those dry spells anymore, u know, spending months without blogging and writing in my journal and all. maybe i'll be more spiritually organised. i know i say this every time i want to come out of the whale's belly, but this time it's different. for real. this time, like i said, i'm going to develop a habit of submitting to You, in trust. and with hope,...i hope it works,... and thus with faith, coz faith is the substance of things hoped for. faith is being sure. and i'm sure You're an omniscient, omnipresent God, so i better learn to stop clinging to my self, ryt?

dear God,
i hereby surrender my writing (and blogging) hopes, ambitions, plans and dreams into Your hands. it's safe to get me out of this whale's belly now,... really... no, i'm not trying to bribe you,... of course i know You will always do things in Your time, even things like getting me out of this whale's stomach,...